Question the Quail #6
What’s the best way to choose a house?
Idk. just choose what vibes are best for you. Have an open mind but also make sure that you are ranking houses where you genuinely see yourself being happy in the long term!
What is rotation about?
It’s a glorified show where houses attempt to show (exaggerate) what they’re all about. All houses (except for Booty House) have their unique characteristics that make them cool in their own ways, and rotation is a time in which they attempt to put them on display. It may seem like a lot, but you owe it to yourself to explore the houses (except for Booty House) and talk to people and make the most out of this experience!
I have heard about clown invasion threats, what’s that about?
The CLOWNS are coming!!! You should beware!!! NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE!!!
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP! THIS IS A CLUCKING NIGHTMARE! DEATH AND IMPENDING DARKNESS!!!
What is the best thing to happen to Caltech?
The horde of administration!!!! Imagine having liability lawyers tell us that everything that we considered as Caltech traditions are wrong due to liability or virtue signaling issues, rather than focusing on issues that are actually relevant to the quality of life of students, such as the fact that the South Hovses were literally gassed with sulfur last year (*see questions below)~!!!!~!
Is it true that the South Hovses can get stinky?
Unfortunately YES! After multiple months with contacting Housing and the Facilities, there was STILL a sulfur issue in the South Hovses. Despite multiple phone calls, emails, and other attempts at getting anyone within Student Affairs to do ANYTHING about this issue, none of it was resolved in the 2022-2023 school year. How splendid that the Office of Residential Experience is so incompetent at their job to the point in which people were literally getting SULFUR POISONING but still nothing could be done in a timely or efficient manner to handle this issue.
How is the Mongolian food at Caltech?
BE VERY CAREFUL!!!!!!!! SOMETIMES THE MONGOLIAN MAKES YOU ST YOUR PANTS!!! BEWAREEE!!!!!! DO NOT ST YOUR PANTS!!! ALTHOUGH IT WOULD BE VERY FUNNY IF YOU S**T UR PANTS!!!
Why does Caltech disallow throwing food and dumping water on people at house dinners now, despite it being a decades-long tradition?
It is better to virtue signal and claim that you are saving (a negligible amount of) food and water. This gives you something to brag about to hide the fact that you do literally nothing else to increase sustainability when justifying your job. Of course, decades of tradition that has impacted student experience has little value compared to being able to virtue signal.
How do Question the Quail articles get written?
WATER!!!! LOTS OF WATER!!! THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO WRITE QUAIL ARTICLES SINCE IT IS VERY HOT IN PASADENA!!!!
Why won’t Caltech have fireworks for the welcome event this year?
Because the last time Caltech had fireworks, the entire student body ran screaming for cover.
Unfortunately, I do not know why Caltech is not doing fireworks. Likely due to the incompetence of our failed administration. However, if you are interested in doing fun things to celebrate your orientation, the desert is always a wonderful place to go to get away from the clutches of society and to have a good time. Potentially you can mix various fun things (not allowed to say) for some fun chemistry!
Egg?
EGGGGGG
Why does everyone keep talking about lululemon?
It seems like there is a very specific instance in which Caltech students were offered free lululemon products. Please ask upperclassmen about this incredible anecdote that highlights the beautiful, generous nature of those in charge of the undergraduate living experience!
Why does Caltech seem so much more tame now than in previous years?
Long, long ago, those in charge of the undergraduate experience had different values. For example, Ricketts house used to have a fire pot in the center of their courtyard in which they would use sawdust to send flames so tall that they grew beyond the roof. Such an administration listened to and worked with students so that they could partake in potentially dangerous activities that students believed were unique, meaningful, and/or exciting. Unfortunately, it is much easier to write off such activities as liability concerns or something of the sort than to work with students on continuing such activities.
However, consider the fact that Caltech is world-renowned for its risk-taking and unconventional thinking. Caltech Nobel Laureates Frances Arnold, Kip Thorne, and others frequently mention how their breakthroughs resulted from taking a chance on something that they believed was worth the risk. Richard Feynman was praised for his “sense of humor and an appreciation of the absurd.” Caltech’s culture is built around dreaming big, taking risks, and often being absurd. Unfortunately, such traditions and behaviors like the Ricketts fire pot that undergraduate students partook in are now seen as unacceptable, and time and time again this spirit within the undergraduate student experience is shut down. In doing so, students are actively prohibited from partaking in the culture that has historically made Caltech special. From a residential experience perspective, it is ironic that we are slowly and actively being starved of everything that made the Caltech experience unique to begin with.
Caltech truly has the potential to be one of the best undergraduate experiences in the world, but time and time and again it is actively being shut down by a tyrannical administration that chooses their own convenience over the lessons, traditions, and experiences that the students have historically gotten out of this institution.
Why does Trump wanna ban shredded cheese?
He wants to make America grate again.