The Magical Campus of Caltech

News

If you stroll past the Olive Walk on a sunny Pasadena day, you might see something magical in the air. Is it the scent of freshly pranked upperclassmen? The echo of the Fleming cannon? Or perhaps it’s just the spirit of Caltech’s brand of wizardry—a house system that would make even J.K. Rowling jealous. At Caltech, the hallowed tradition of “houses” isn’t just about where you sleep; it’s about forging family, engineering pranks, and unleashing a level of creativity that would make even Dumbledore drop his lemon drop.

But what if we took things one step further? Imagine blending the best of Hogwarts—the Sorting Hat, the House Cup, the Triwizard Tournament—with the wild, inventive, and occasionally soaked (thanks, Avery Assassins) energy of Techers. Welcome to Caltech’s House System: Harry Potter 2.0, now featuring the ultimate House Championship.

Sorting, Tech-Style: The Rotation Ritual

Forget the Sorting Hat. At Caltech, you embark on “Rotation”—a week-long, turbocharged round of dinners, desserts, and social events in all eight houses. Instead of whispering your fate in your ear, the process lets you sample every flavor of house life, from Blacker’s cryptic mischief to Avery’s water gun warfare. When the Fleming cannon finally booms across campus, it’s not a call to arms—it’s the moment you discover your new home, your “family,” and, inevitably, your lifelong rivals.

The Houses: If the Hogwarts Founders Were Engineers and Scientists

A condensed 8-bit map of the Caltech campus created during the virtual Rotation of 2021. Image from Caltech News.

Blacker House: The Slytherin of Schemes and Genius

  • Color: Black | Mascot: Mole
  • Signature Magic: The infamous “Hellride” (think Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries” at ear-splitting volume while barricaded in a hallway), heaven/hell-themed corridors, and elevator pranks that would make Peeves proud. Their mysterious “γδβγ” slogan has even stowed away on the Curiosity Mars rover.
  • Fun Fact: “God damn Blacker gang”—a phrase uttered by a flummoxed security guard—became an enduring emblem, now immortalized in Greek letters.
  • Wizard Comparison: Slytherins wish they were this clever (and mischievous).

Dabney House: Hufflepuff Meets Punk Rock

  • Color: Green | Mascot: Darb
  • Signature Magic: The annual Millikan Pumpkin Drop—frozen pumpkins plunging from Caltech Hall, hoping for a triboluminescent glow. “DEI” graffiti is everywhere, from video games to lunar surfaces. The Chouse (student-run coffee house) keeps the house buzzing with caffeine and conversation. Anti-authoritarian streak included!
  • Fun Fact: Once protested Nixon with a banner visible from space (okay, maybe not quite, but it was legendary).
  • Wizard Comparison: Hufflepuff, but with a rebellious streak and an espresso habit.

Fleming House: Gryffindor, but with a Real Cannon (I asked around and they told me that Fleming must be Gryffindor, the arrogant house 🙁)

  • Color: Red | Mascot: Flem
  • Signature Magic: The Fleming cannon was fired for milestones, parties, and occasionally to remind everyone who’s boss. Fierce is in interhouse sports and even more vicious in pranks (MIT, beware).
  • Fun Fact: The cannon has been “borrowed” by MIT and Harvey Mudd, but always returns home—sometimes with a story (and a gold-plated MIT ring).
  • Wizard Comparison: Gryffindors with extra decibels and a penchant for friendly warfare.

Ricketts House: Slytherin/Ravenclaw with a Side of Pyromania

  • Color: Maroon | Mascot: Skurve
  • Signature Magic: Once famous for courtyard firepots and the legendary brakedrum contest between classes. Murals abound—a tradition rivaled only by their fondness for inclusivity.
  • Fun Fact: The only house that doesn’t offer social membership. Once a Skurve, always a Skurve.
  • Wizard Comparison: Slytherin, but with more fire and zero tolerance for cliques.

Lloyd House: Gryffindor’s Golden Pranksters

  • Color: Gold | Mascot: Lloydie
  • Signature Magic: The “Lloyd Lights”—a nine-story Christmas tree of lights cascading down Caltech Hall. Notorious for the “Great Rose Bowl Hoax” and for transforming the Hollywood sign.
  • Fun Fact: Alleged to have run a clandestine LSD lab in the 1970s (purely folklore, of course).
  • Wizard Comparison: Gryffindors with a holiday decorator’s soul, a prankster’s heart, and a flair for epic mischief.

Page House: The Slytherclaw of Shenanigans

  • Color: Blue | Mascot: Page Dude
  • Signature Magic: Greased Frosh Races (Crisco, Beckman Lawn, and glory), a pirate radio station, and the legendary blue-painting of Fleming’s cannon.
  • Fun Fact: The only things off-limits for pranks are the pool table felt and a Nixon poster—sacred relics of Page.
  • Wizard Comparison: Slytherins and Ravenclaws united in cunning, creativity, and a refusal to take anything too seriously.

Venerable House: The Artistic and Philosophical Ravenclaws

  • Color: Navy Blue | Mascot: Ven
  • Signature Magic: OPI (Our Private Interhouse), where the house transforms into Mayan temples, Moulin Rouge windmills, or the Roman Colosseum. Murals everywhere (including a two-story astronaut), and Halloween zombie sieges on Dabney.
  • Fun Fact: Bread-throwing and “floating” rule-breakers at dinner are standard fare.
  • Wizard Comparison: Ravenclaws with paint-stained robes and a penchant for spectacle.

Avery House: Hufflepuff, but with Water Guns and Open Arms

  • Color: Purple | Mascot: Averite
  • Signature Magic: “Avery Assassins”—a 36-hour campus-wide water gun game that rivals Dumbledore’s Army for strategy. Annual beach trips, open kitchen, and murals on canvas (so even Filch can’t complain).
  • Fun Fact: Membership is open—just collect ten signatures and you’re in.
  • Wizard Comparison: Hufflepuffs with super-soakers and a beach house.

Bechtel Residence: The Room of Requirement

  • Not technically a house, but… Bechtel is the all-welcoming, ever-adaptable suite-style haven. If you can imagine it, you can probably find it in Bechtel.
  • Wizard Comparison: The Room of Requirement, minus the vanishing cabinets.

The House Championship—Caltech’s Goblet of Fire (with More Robots, Fewer Dragons)

But what if we dialed up the magic even more? Imagine a yearlong House Championship, inspired by the House Cup and the Goblet of Fire, but reimagined for Techers.

Here’s how it could work: Each student would be armed with a stash of “House Points” to contribute throughout the year—not for academic grades but for everything that makes Caltech life unforgettable.

Ways to Score House Points (No Basilisks Required):

  • Volunteering: Organize a campus clean-up, tutor local kids in coding, or help run a charity drive—every hour counts!
  • Creative Publications: Wrote a viral meme, an article for the campus paper, or a definitive guide to Pasadena’s taco trucks? Points for making us laugh, think, or drool.
  • Event Organization: From legendary inter-house parties to Mario Kart marathons and midnight pancake cook-offs, bringing people together earns points.
  • Sports & Physical Challenges: Ultimate frisbee, water gun “Assassins,” beach-trip relays, or even a spontaneous dance-off—athleticism meets engineering.
  • Traditions & Pranks: Can you pull off a campus prank so clever it becomes a legend? Your house will thank you (and probably immortalize you in mural form).

Picture it: At the end of the year, the house with the most points gets its colors and flag flown high above Beckmann Hall for all to see. The Fleming cannon fires (confetti, not cannonballs!), and the proud house gathers beneath their banner, the entire campus cheering them on. Eternal glory, Instagram fame, and, most importantly, the right to brag for the next twelve months.

Not only would this championship supercharge campus spirit, it would also inspire Techers to get off their laptops, collaborate, prank, innovate, and make Caltech even more legendary, with a lot more laughter along the way.

Fun Fact: No dragons were harmed in making this proposal, but don’t be surprised if a robot dinosaur appears at the closing ceremony.

So, Techers, are you ready to transform Caltech into a magical realm where houses battle for glory—not with wands, but with creativity, camaraderie, and maybe a few well-placed water balloons? The House Championship awaits. Mischief, as always, is most enthusiastically managed, especially what EACH STUDENT CAN DO!

WHAT CAN A SINGLE STUDENT DO?

Picture Caltech on an ordinary Tuesday—the hum of labs in full swing, laughter echoing down residence hallways, and the scent of late-night ice cream mingling with the buzz of ideas. In this world, every student is more than just a face in the crowd or a name on a roster. In the House Championship, every person matters, and every little spark they bring lights up campus life.

At the heart of this possible new tradition is a simple truth: every student is a game-changer.

Here, you’re not an anonymous competitor in a sea of overachievers. You’re a vital part of your house—a friend, a teammate, a creative soul. Maybe you’re the one who rallies everyone for a midnight study break or the quiet fixer who stays behind to clean up after a big event. Maybe your superpower is organizing, inventing, baking, or making people laugh when they need it most. All of that counts. All of it matters.

How It Works: Points by the People, for the People

  • Did you volunteer at a local school or food bank? Part of Caltech Y? Those are points for your house.
  • Did you plan a hackathon, write a silly campus meme, or host a poetry night? More points.
  • Did you run a pancake breakfast at 2 a.m. or lead a sustainability project? Points again.
  • Did you lead a water gun tournament, paint a mural in the stairwell, or simply show up and help? It all adds up.
  • Are you the leader of any club?

The possible roles:

  • The Environmentalist: You organize a campus clean-up. Maybe you drag your sleepy friends out of bed on a Saturday morning and laugh over donuts while picking up trash. Your efforts inspire others, and your house raises “green” points.
  • The Meme Maestro: You whip up a meme about midterms that’s so spot-on, it spreads through the dorms faster than the flu. Suddenly, everyone’s a little less stressed. Your house gets “spirit” points, and you get high-fives in the hallway.
  • The Chef: You host a multicultural food night, filling the common room with spices, stories, and laughter. Friends try new dishes, swap recipes, and your house earns “community” points.
  • The Prankster: With a wink and a wild idea, you and your crew turn the library into an indoor beach for a day—towels, umbrellas, and all. Faculty are amused, students are delighted, and your house gets “tradition” points.
  • The Quiet Helper: Maybe you’re not in the spotlight, but you’re always there. You volunteer at the local shelter, tutor a classmate, or water the house plants without anyone asking. Your kindness earns “service” points—and the genuine thanks of your peers.

And don’t forget the quiet acts: setting up chairs before a party, designing a house T-shirt, or just being the person who remembers everyone’s birthday. Those little things? They matter just as much.

The Ripple Effect: How Small Actions Create a Big Change

When every teacher’s strengths and passions are seen and celebrated, something amazing happens. Campus becomes more than a collection of brilliant minds—it becomes a living, breathing mosaic of generosity, creativity, and fun. The House Championship isn’t just about trophy-worthy moments; it’s the sum of a thousand small kindnesses, inventions, and laughs.

At Caltech, every student shapes their house’s destiny.

Every point is a story. Every contribution is a memory: every student is a hero in their way.

So, when the final tally is counted and one house’s banner rises above Beckmann Hall, everyone knows: it wasn’t just the big wins or the wildest pranks that got them there. It was the effort, heart, and imagination of every single member.

You belong in this story no matter who you are or what you bring. So come as you are, do what you love, and watch your house rise because every Techer’s magic truly counts here at Caltech.