Quail

A SATIRE advice column about alive, ahaha, and everything in between!

Q: “I’m stumped on what to get for my significant other who seems to have everything. Any unique gift ideas that show thoughtfulness?”

How do you deal with academic stress and anxiety at Caltech?

Q Help! The triangle man is after me! What do i do? -Pythagoras A Did you eat those mystery berries again? Have you considered that the triangle man is not real and it may just be the mystery berries, you moron??? Ugh, but I guess its too late for that. Here’s what you can do now since you can’t stop eating these berries:

Q I’m a grad student looking for club funding. How do I go about applying for money? -Madeline Hatter A Simple! Just follow this 4-step plan:

An advice column about life, love, classes, and everything in between! Brought to you by the one and only California Tech.

Dear Quail, In your holy infinite wisdom, can you answer the question: Is Caltech worth it? Best, A.S. Muncher

A new advice column about life, love, classes, and everything in between! Brought to you by the one and only California Tech.

A new advice column about life, love, classes, and everything in between! Brought to you by the one and only California Tech.

A new advice column about life, love, classes, and everything in between! Brought to you by the one and only California Tech.

A new advice column about life, love, classes, and everything in between! Brought to you by the one and only California Tech.