Unlike finals, we don’t get the week off for midterms, so this season is particularly mid. To all of you reading this article, keep pushing through! We are proud of you, and you are doing really well. The light is at the end of the tunnel, I promise.
In a shocking turn of events, the elusive “Hand Drill Hannibal” has struck again, this time pilfering hand drills from both Blacker Hovse and Page House within the last week.
Coming out of retirement once again, Miyazaki’s latest film The Boy and the Heron is wonderfully filled with themes of love, grief, and accepting change.
Well, you see, the stork union is a bit outdated, and the cabbage patch had to close down due to budget cuts. So, in today’s modern world, babies have found a new, unconventional origin – the Mongolian Grill. It turns out that after consuming a delightful feast at a Mongolian Grill, the body undergoes a magical transformation.
PASADENA, CA — In a based and green-pilled display of social responsibility, the California Institute of Technology reported its first year of carbon neutrality since 1898, according to a press release issued by the CalTech Sustainability Council on Monday.
Introduction: In the dystopian world of Panem, where each choice defines destinies and the division between good and evil is blurred more often than not, “The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes” dives into the core conflicts present in the entire Hunger Games franchise.
Q
Help! The triangle man is after me! What do i do?
-Pythagoras
A
Did you eat those mystery berries again? Have you considered that the triangle man is not real and it may just be the mystery berries, you moron???
Ugh, but I guess its too late for that. Here’s what you can do now since you can’t stop eating these berries:
After arriving at Caltech, one of the first things I noticed about the campus once I finally had time to wander around was that, from what I could tell, this place lacked a consistent architectural style. There’s a mix of Spanish-style architecture like Beckman Institute, more modern-looking buildings like Chen, and silly guys like the Beckman Hall (and also ugly ass ones like Downs-Lauritsen). This mixing of styles continues inside, with some buildings like Bridge keeping their old-fashioned style but Gates-Thomas deciding to modernize. That’s all neat and cool, but it goes a little further than what you see walking up and down the halls. The place I noticed these tiny details is a sacred place where you have time to yourself, a place free of distraction, a place of relief: the bathroom.
On Wednesday, June 7, 2023 at 2:12 p.m., Caltech undergraduates received the following email:
Caltech Notification System This Timely Warning Bulletin is being issued in compliance with the Jeanne Clery Act. The purpose is to provide preventative information to the campus community to aid members from becoming the victim of a crime.
Summary: On June 7, 2023, at around 7:30 a.m., while unlocking the Tournament Park parking lot, south of the Braun Athletic Center, Caltech Security officers observed a red Chevy utility van parked in the parking lot.
The unprecedented high level of freshman enrollment has spurred a housing shortage on the Caltech campus. Therefore, we propose the following locations as new options for undergraduate housing:
